How do?
I have been at work for four weeks now. It is a bummer that the job is with an agency but I am prepared to take that risk.
My supervisor at work has said she has already noticed that I now have a better attitude. I feel better in myself and I seem to have more energy. I don't know whether it is just me but people are different with me now. There are quite a few people who work for the same agency where I work and they now say I am one of the crew now.
The Lady from the agency rings me up every week or sends me a text to say that I am required the next week and then I get a new time-sheet and the last payslip in the post at the weekend. I get paid weekly which is different and I have been able to budget quite well so far. I could not believe it when I had my first payslip in 12 years. I was so happy I took my Wife and the Children out for a slap-up meal.
The Working Tax credits have been worked out and I am definitely better off so far. I don't know what plans the future government has for tax credits but they are crucial to me at this stage. I have also received a letter this weekend saying I qualified for Return to Work Credits of £40 a week as well. I could now be a walking talking advert for the DWP better off in work.
I now enjoy going to work more than I did before. It is going well except I have had a couple of problems which I have had to speak to the supervisor about. The Lady who I had problems with before keeps telling me when I should have my break, and she says she has to know at all times where I am. Its quite suffocating. Why don't I have an electronic tag attached to my ankle?. I did something I had not done before I stuck up for myself and I said I will go for my break when I am ready. I think she cares but she just goes the wrong way about it. I think it is also the transition from how I started on a work placement all being wrapped up in cotton wool to now being a fully fledged working person. I will see how it goes.
In other news Transfattyacid said "I guess now you are employed you will have the luxury of moaning about all those scroungers faking disability to live the life of Riley on the state". If the DWP could get the real career scroungers off benefits who give disabled people a bad name perhaps they might be able to give the time and the energy to help people with genuine disabilities.
I feel like I have been very lucky and I have had a lot of help along the way but not from the jobcentre though but from people where I volunteered. I know where I came from to where I am now and I was labelled a scrounger and it is not a nice experience. It might go ok or it might go wrong but I am just taking one day at a time and see where it takes me.
Have a nice weekend
Sunday, 9 May 2010
Sunday, 2 May 2010
Out Of The Frying Pan Into The Fire
How do?
I find it quite bizarre what has happened since I quit my voluntary work. My original plan was to start looking for either different voluntary work, look for work and go to the jobcentre and look at what options they had even if it meant going on the Pathways to Nowhere.
I went over to see Linda the volunteer organiser at the uni as she had not seen me for a while and I said that I had enough and I was leaving and I wanted to do something else. I went and had a talk to her and explained some things to her and things she did not know. She said that they were not taking on any staff which was the same as what my supervisor had said. Linda then said she would ask at a higher level and make some enquiries about me. She said I was welcome to drop in any time as I was not banned from the campus or anything.
I was not expecting to hear anything different to what I had heard before but then a week or so later I got an email from the Deputy Director asking if I could go in and see him.
I met up with Linda again and we sat in the reception area waiting to meet the Deputy Director. At this point I was shaking with anxiety and I did not know what to expect. Linda was with me and reassured me that there was nothing to worry about and I was not in trouble.
We went in and met the Deputy Director and Linda said it would better if I explained my situation and why I had left. I said I originally came from a work placement via the DEA at the jobcentre & Rehab UK. I then said that when the six weeks placement finished, Rehab UK didn't come up with any other options but I liked it where I was. I asked the line manager at the time if I could carry on as a volunteer so I could build up my confidence and perhaps get some more experience in the workplace.
I originally had this loopy idea that If I could built up as much experience as I could then it would give me some chance of finding a job at some point in the future.
The Deputy Director had not realised that I was a volunteer and just thought I worked there and I was a guy who worked there who came round every day. He was very straight with me and explained that the voluntary work would have had to stop as it had gone on for too long. He said that there were no jobs at this time but one of the things they do is take on agency staff.
What came up which has come up before was the fact that I am on IB and that if I came off it what was there to lose and would I be worse off. He then said he needed some time to have a think and would contact me at the end of the week.
At the end of the week I got an email asking if I could go and see him again with Linda. I went in with Linda and sat down and he said he had spoken to the employment agency and he then gave me a piece of paper showing details of a job which was basically my old voluntary job but working for an employment agency with fixed hours. He said that there was an element of risk working for an employment agency as the work may not be permanent.
He said did I want to have a think about it and compare the figures to what I got on IB. It didn't matter because I had already made my mind up as I had been comparing figures for a while using wage & tax credit calculators. Here was a chance to get off IB, do a job I already know what to do and get paid. I was prepared to take the risk.
The next day I had to go to the employment agency in town and fill in some forms. I was quite embarrassed when I was asked about when I last worked. I said the last time I worked was in 1998 and since that I have been going between doctor and hospital appointments to sort my brain out and my thinking, struggling with periods of depression, going on jobcentre schemes and doing a bit of voluntary work. After getting all the forms done she then phoned the Deputy Director and then she said she had a start date for me, wow!.
Three weeks after leaving my voluntary work I am now back again at the same place doing my old job pretty much doing the same as before with fixed hours and now getting paid for it.
One of the things I found most exciting was to ring up the DWP office and say that I have some exciting news is that I now have a job. Bye Bye Incapacity Benefit!
The DWP said because I am in a Pathways to Work area I should be entitled to a £250 work grant and £40 a week Return to Work Credit for a year. The brown envelopes have been coming thick and fast, first with my P45 and then the application form for RTWC.
I am waiting to find out if I still get DLA next month. I have also applied for Working Tax Credits.
One thing that has come out of all this is that someone originally gave me a chance even though it was as a volunteer and then I have had quite a bit of help along the way.
Perhaps people would feel better if the jobcentre did not just farm people off to schemes to park them on and if there were more people who were willing to just give disabled people a chance.
I can't see how workfare schemes are going to work because people are going to resent it from the start being forced to work and working for less then the minimum wage. I went to voluntary work because I wanted to do it and then I tried to build on it.
If only the people who keep banging on about welfare reform listen especially those who want time limited benefits and stop treating people as benefit scrounging scum. We are not scum but we are real people with real problems, sometimes you just need that little extra boost from somewhere just to help you on your way. Sorry about my rant buts that's how I feel.
On to Day One
Ta Ta
I find it quite bizarre what has happened since I quit my voluntary work. My original plan was to start looking for either different voluntary work, look for work and go to the jobcentre and look at what options they had even if it meant going on the Pathways to Nowhere.
I went over to see Linda the volunteer organiser at the uni as she had not seen me for a while and I said that I had enough and I was leaving and I wanted to do something else. I went and had a talk to her and explained some things to her and things she did not know. She said that they were not taking on any staff which was the same as what my supervisor had said. Linda then said she would ask at a higher level and make some enquiries about me. She said I was welcome to drop in any time as I was not banned from the campus or anything.
I was not expecting to hear anything different to what I had heard before but then a week or so later I got an email from the Deputy Director asking if I could go in and see him.
I met up with Linda again and we sat in the reception area waiting to meet the Deputy Director. At this point I was shaking with anxiety and I did not know what to expect. Linda was with me and reassured me that there was nothing to worry about and I was not in trouble.
We went in and met the Deputy Director and Linda said it would better if I explained my situation and why I had left. I said I originally came from a work placement via the DEA at the jobcentre & Rehab UK. I then said that when the six weeks placement finished, Rehab UK didn't come up with any other options but I liked it where I was. I asked the line manager at the time if I could carry on as a volunteer so I could build up my confidence and perhaps get some more experience in the workplace.
I originally had this loopy idea that If I could built up as much experience as I could then it would give me some chance of finding a job at some point in the future.
The Deputy Director had not realised that I was a volunteer and just thought I worked there and I was a guy who worked there who came round every day. He was very straight with me and explained that the voluntary work would have had to stop as it had gone on for too long. He said that there were no jobs at this time but one of the things they do is take on agency staff.
What came up which has come up before was the fact that I am on IB and that if I came off it what was there to lose and would I be worse off. He then said he needed some time to have a think and would contact me at the end of the week.
At the end of the week I got an email asking if I could go and see him again with Linda. I went in with Linda and sat down and he said he had spoken to the employment agency and he then gave me a piece of paper showing details of a job which was basically my old voluntary job but working for an employment agency with fixed hours. He said that there was an element of risk working for an employment agency as the work may not be permanent.
He said did I want to have a think about it and compare the figures to what I got on IB. It didn't matter because I had already made my mind up as I had been comparing figures for a while using wage & tax credit calculators. Here was a chance to get off IB, do a job I already know what to do and get paid. I was prepared to take the risk.
The next day I had to go to the employment agency in town and fill in some forms. I was quite embarrassed when I was asked about when I last worked. I said the last time I worked was in 1998 and since that I have been going between doctor and hospital appointments to sort my brain out and my thinking, struggling with periods of depression, going on jobcentre schemes and doing a bit of voluntary work. After getting all the forms done she then phoned the Deputy Director and then she said she had a start date for me, wow!.
Three weeks after leaving my voluntary work I am now back again at the same place doing my old job pretty much doing the same as before with fixed hours and now getting paid for it.
One of the things I found most exciting was to ring up the DWP office and say that I have some exciting news is that I now have a job. Bye Bye Incapacity Benefit!
The DWP said because I am in a Pathways to Work area I should be entitled to a £250 work grant and £40 a week Return to Work Credit for a year. The brown envelopes have been coming thick and fast, first with my P45 and then the application form for RTWC.
I am waiting to find out if I still get DLA next month. I have also applied for Working Tax Credits.
One thing that has come out of all this is that someone originally gave me a chance even though it was as a volunteer and then I have had quite a bit of help along the way.
Perhaps people would feel better if the jobcentre did not just farm people off to schemes to park them on and if there were more people who were willing to just give disabled people a chance.
I can't see how workfare schemes are going to work because people are going to resent it from the start being forced to work and working for less then the minimum wage. I went to voluntary work because I wanted to do it and then I tried to build on it.
If only the people who keep banging on about welfare reform listen especially those who want time limited benefits and stop treating people as benefit scrounging scum. We are not scum but we are real people with real problems, sometimes you just need that little extra boost from somewhere just to help you on your way. Sorry about my rant buts that's how I feel.
On to Day One
Ta Ta
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
Back To Square One Again
The last thing I wrote on my blog was about managing my brain injury and trying to be able to cope with work. I have been doing voluntary work at a university to try and build myself up in a busy working environment.
Having not been in work for such a long time I don't have a very good medical history and I do not have a lot of experience in the workplace. I do look at jobs in the paper and on the net but with not a lot of work history my chances of getting a job are very slim.
Just recently where I do my voluntary work I felt that I have been taken advantage of and I have been having too much work to do, ie people in where I work have left and not been replaced and I have been doing virtually two peoples jobs and then being asked to take on other things as well.
Last week I asked if I could start work half an hour earlier so I could help get things ready and get started a bit earlier and perhaps finish earlier. I came into work on Monday morning and instead of my co-worker working together with me she did the work she needed to do and left me with everything else. I wasn't expecting that. What happened to working as a team?
At about 9.00am she came out with "well if you had come in at 9.00 like before everything would have been ready and you could have started", with the tone of her voice saying I told you so.
Not deterred by this I went off and did some of the jobs I normally do and then a bit later I saw my supervisor and explained what had happened. I said that I was doing too much work and it needed to be cut down. I said that I felt that I was just an unpaid skivvie and I must be a mug for doing this. I can't recall everything she said but she did day something like "We try to support you but one week you are alright, one week you are not, one week you are bored and you need another challenge".
I had done some of my work and went back to where the co-worker was and I was trying to explain that I was having to do more work and having less time to do it in. My co-worker said " Well I have been doing that and I have been working for 30 years. I have done all these things to help you in the past to make it easy for you, now that you had taken on so much [even though I had been asked to do these jobs by the supervisor] and now you are complaining about it. I found this quite patronising and despite the fact that I had been helping her and all for nothing, what did she want me to do give her a medal or something?.
I had enquired with my supervisor previously whether it would be possible if the work I do considering the amount of work I was doing could do turned into a proper job and I could get off benefits. I have said many times that I am sick of being on IB and want to get some sort of proper job. I have been reading some info from benefits & work recently about voluntary work and I think I have not been doing voluntary work but actually unpaid work.
I had also been told that the employer wanted to look after me so to protect my benefits and they didn't want me to be worse off, ie the employer could not match what I get on IB. It was explained to me that there was nothing in the current years budget and I would have to wait until they find out the next budget for the department. I had compared what I get on IB and what figure they were talking about what I could possibly earned but it wasn't that far away to be impossible.
Quite a lot of the time I have also been rather worried about being transferred to either ESA or JSA so in this eventuality they said that there was something in place in case this happened. So I carried on doing my work for nothing while taking on more work in the process. However this was beginning to have a negative effect on my health ie not having time to have a sufficient break or even lunch [I don't recall having many proper breaks] and I was then coming back from work exhausted and having to sleep 2-3 hours to recover.
Then just to add the icing on the cake I found out later in the day that the thing that was in place in the eventuality of being kicked off IB was no longer in place as they could not afford it and had not been in place for a while. its just nobody thought of telling me and this was all while I still working for nothing. I might have well of just had the word mug tattooed on my forehead.
I made my mind up very quickly that this wasn't for me any more and a change of scenery would be required.
There are some volunteers who do a fantastic job and are very much appreciated but there are some who are just used in the place of actual paid employees.
At least I can be positive and say I have now have some work history in a busy working environment. Does voluntary work and the then therapeutic work count for anything on a CV these days? I am no nearer to a job now as I was when I first got the placement from Rehab UK via the DEA. Sad but true. Back to square one again and the isolated world of Incapacity Benefit. What's next?
Having not been in work for such a long time I don't have a very good medical history and I do not have a lot of experience in the workplace. I do look at jobs in the paper and on the net but with not a lot of work history my chances of getting a job are very slim.
Just recently where I do my voluntary work I felt that I have been taken advantage of and I have been having too much work to do, ie people in where I work have left and not been replaced and I have been doing virtually two peoples jobs and then being asked to take on other things as well.
Last week I asked if I could start work half an hour earlier so I could help get things ready and get started a bit earlier and perhaps finish earlier. I came into work on Monday morning and instead of my co-worker working together with me she did the work she needed to do and left me with everything else. I wasn't expecting that. What happened to working as a team?
At about 9.00am she came out with "well if you had come in at 9.00 like before everything would have been ready and you could have started", with the tone of her voice saying I told you so.
Not deterred by this I went off and did some of the jobs I normally do and then a bit later I saw my supervisor and explained what had happened. I said that I was doing too much work and it needed to be cut down. I said that I felt that I was just an unpaid skivvie and I must be a mug for doing this. I can't recall everything she said but she did day something like "We try to support you but one week you are alright, one week you are not, one week you are bored and you need another challenge".
I had done some of my work and went back to where the co-worker was and I was trying to explain that I was having to do more work and having less time to do it in. My co-worker said " Well I have been doing that and I have been working for 30 years. I have done all these things to help you in the past to make it easy for you, now that you had taken on so much [even though I had been asked to do these jobs by the supervisor] and now you are complaining about it. I found this quite patronising and despite the fact that I had been helping her and all for nothing, what did she want me to do give her a medal or something?.
I had enquired with my supervisor previously whether it would be possible if the work I do considering the amount of work I was doing could do turned into a proper job and I could get off benefits. I have said many times that I am sick of being on IB and want to get some sort of proper job. I have been reading some info from benefits & work recently about voluntary work and I think I have not been doing voluntary work but actually unpaid work.
I had also been told that the employer wanted to look after me so to protect my benefits and they didn't want me to be worse off, ie the employer could not match what I get on IB. It was explained to me that there was nothing in the current years budget and I would have to wait until they find out the next budget for the department. I had compared what I get on IB and what figure they were talking about what I could possibly earned but it wasn't that far away to be impossible.
Quite a lot of the time I have also been rather worried about being transferred to either ESA or JSA so in this eventuality they said that there was something in place in case this happened. So I carried on doing my work for nothing while taking on more work in the process. However this was beginning to have a negative effect on my health ie not having time to have a sufficient break or even lunch [I don't recall having many proper breaks] and I was then coming back from work exhausted and having to sleep 2-3 hours to recover.
Then just to add the icing on the cake I found out later in the day that the thing that was in place in the eventuality of being kicked off IB was no longer in place as they could not afford it and had not been in place for a while. its just nobody thought of telling me and this was all while I still working for nothing. I might have well of just had the word mug tattooed on my forehead.
I made my mind up very quickly that this wasn't for me any more and a change of scenery would be required.
There are some volunteers who do a fantastic job and are very much appreciated but there are some who are just used in the place of actual paid employees.
At least I can be positive and say I have now have some work history in a busy working environment. Does voluntary work and the then therapeutic work count for anything on a CV these days? I am no nearer to a job now as I was when I first got the placement from Rehab UK via the DEA. Sad but true. Back to square one again and the isolated world of Incapacity Benefit. What's next?
Thursday, 11 February 2010
What's the Point?
Having read recently about David Cameron wanting to get the sick and disabled off IB and into the world of work if the Conservatives get into power. I notice that the politicians seem to forget that sick/disabled people have to manage there condition/disability and then have to manage to be able to work.
I keep trying to push myself to the point where I feel like I could do a job. One of the biggest problems I have with a brain injury even after 20 years is fatigue. I get home from voluntary work and I am constantly have to fight to stop myself going to sleep as I am physically exhausted.
I have had this problem since day one of the head injury and it's made worse when I try to get back into a work situation. Yesterday I got home, got washed, had a drink, sat down and then the fight begins to not go to sleep. I usually like to have a sit down and then check my email but by this time my brain is already trying to shut me down and make me sleep. It's not like the sort of late in the evening time to go to bed tired, its difficult to describe but its not pleasant.
I often think that having a can of red bull or something like that will help keep me awake but in fact this is actually quite futile. I can have a coffee or a red bull and half hour later I am asleep for anything for 2-4 hours which is quite bizarre. This often happens so it makes the time in the afternoon/early evening a write off.
This also makes a mess of sleep as it is like instead of having a long 7 hour sleep at night I often have 2 sleeps and then I can be awake at 2 am in the morning. Somebody said to me last week that I should try going to the sleep clinic.
What is happening is in my attempt to be well enough to work is the fatigue is then crossing over into my family life. What's the point to all this?. Is this what the politicians want all in the name of getting people to work and saving there precious money?. I am only 1 person who has to manage there condition, what about all the other people who have to manage there condition everyday and then in the future going to be punished for having a disability or condition and then being forced to find work?.
see ya
Friday, 5 February 2010
Heart Of A Nation
There is a lot being said about IB at the moment but I have found this excellent blog article which is well worth a read.
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Benefits & Work Website Under Attack
This morning the Sunday Express claims that the Benefits & Work website provides a web guide for bogus incapacity benefit claims. In fact they manage to mention it on another article as well on the same day claiming that benefit claims are at an all time high. Yet again another attack on sick and disabled people.
Brain Blogger
It appears that the article in the Sunday Express was removed after Benefits & Work members first picked up on it in there forum here
Brain Blogger
It appears that the article in the Sunday Express was removed after Benefits & Work members first picked up on it in there forum here
Friday, 11 December 2009
The Future is Uncertain
Nothing of any real significance has happened since I last posted on my blog. I just haven't really felt like writing anything. I have been taking the Citalapram for quite a while now. I don't really feel depressed nor do I feel really happy. I sort of feel nothing. I don't feel sick anymore before I go to voluntary work nor do I have the pounding heart or the panic attacks which is a relief.
Since the brain injury I have no real work history other than therapeutic work and voluntary work. I feel like everyone who wanted to take advantage of me under the guise of rehabilitation has taken advantage of me.
After a life changing event like a brain injury there does not seem to be any sort of a plan to get yourself back to work and you just go through the motions, a week passes, a month passes, a year passes, now almost 20 years have passed since I last worked full-time. At least 18 years has been spent on IB and its variants via a couple of appeals. Its not something I am proud of.
I want to get off IB and get a proper part-time job with proper wages and some sort of career but how many of them are there about for disabled people at the moment?.
The problem is with going to a new job or environment with short-term memory problems it might take me a year to learn and to remember what to do properly. How many employers are there who have that sort of patience?. I feel like the future is uncertain. The only stability I have at the moment is IB and voluntary work.
I have been reading other blog's about peoples experience of the new deal and the flexible new deal but it sounds so depressing. I don't want to be depressed again. I have had a lifetime of experience of depression.
I have asked whether the voluntary work could turn into a proper part-time job but the employer said that they can't match what I get on IB and I would be worse off and wait until I get kicked off IB and onto jobseekers.
I phoned up the tax credit helpline and even with working tax credit I would actually be worse off. That's just crazy. Even on news articles I read in the last week or so it said if you earn less than so much you are classed as being in poverty. What's the incentive of going to work when you are going to go into poverty?.
Sometimes I feel like I am already working for my benefit. Sometimes I feel like I am being taken advantage of at the expense of a real employee. People have come and gone and not been replaced but at the end there is always me as backup. What alternatives are there?.
ta ta
brain blogger
Since the brain injury I have no real work history other than therapeutic work and voluntary work. I feel like everyone who wanted to take advantage of me under the guise of rehabilitation has taken advantage of me.
After a life changing event like a brain injury there does not seem to be any sort of a plan to get yourself back to work and you just go through the motions, a week passes, a month passes, a year passes, now almost 20 years have passed since I last worked full-time. At least 18 years has been spent on IB and its variants via a couple of appeals. Its not something I am proud of.
I want to get off IB and get a proper part-time job with proper wages and some sort of career but how many of them are there about for disabled people at the moment?.
The problem is with going to a new job or environment with short-term memory problems it might take me a year to learn and to remember what to do properly. How many employers are there who have that sort of patience?. I feel like the future is uncertain. The only stability I have at the moment is IB and voluntary work.
I have been reading other blog's about peoples experience of the new deal and the flexible new deal but it sounds so depressing. I don't want to be depressed again. I have had a lifetime of experience of depression.
I have asked whether the voluntary work could turn into a proper part-time job but the employer said that they can't match what I get on IB and I would be worse off and wait until I get kicked off IB and onto jobseekers.
I phoned up the tax credit helpline and even with working tax credit I would actually be worse off. That's just crazy. Even on news articles I read in the last week or so it said if you earn less than so much you are classed as being in poverty. What's the incentive of going to work when you are going to go into poverty?.
Sometimes I feel like I am already working for my benefit. Sometimes I feel like I am being taken advantage of at the expense of a real employee. People have come and gone and not been replaced but at the end there is always me as backup. What alternatives are there?.
ta ta
brain blogger
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