Waiting In The Condemned Cell

I finally got the IB50 filled in with a lot of help and virtually wrote my life story. It has been sent it back to see the pending result. I imagine I will be getting another brown envelope soon with the map to where the medical examination centre is as if I don't already know. I know what it must feel like waiting in the condemned cell because now it is the time to wait and see what the decision is and if I have a medical to go to next. Why do I have to keep going through this?.

I have been looking at all the notes from when I had to appeal because of some clueless doctors decision with little or no knowledge of head injuries. I hope I haven't to go through that all over again because that's a nightmare in itself.

I feel like I have had every ounce of energy slowly drained out of me not that I had much to start off with and all my enthusiasm drained out of me as well. I felt better when I was in a coma.

I was supposed to be on two weeks off from my voluntary work but it has been a disaster. All I have been doing is going backwards and forwards seeing the lady to help get the IB50 filled in. All the things I had thought I was going to do in the time I had off hasn't happened.

I am supposed to be going back to voluntary work on Monday but where I am going to find the energy and enthusiasm from I do not know. I always feel like I have to go backwards to go forwards all the time. I feel like I have gone back a couple of years to where I was then, to me it feels exactly the same again. I don't know if this happens to other people when the get this damn form but this is what is doing to me.