Stress

I haven't felt like doing any blogging for a day as I all my energy has been directed trying to get the IB50 sorted out. A very kind lady who supports me in my voluntary work helped me with it. She has experience of filling in these forms and said she would also send a supporting letter with it as well, she even said she would go to a medical as well which is really helpful.

I have another meeting tomorrow, hopefully I can get the end section of the IB50 all done and get it all sent back and wait to see if I have to go to a medical then.

It doesn't matter what you write in these forms if you don't fit in the right boxes they still want you to go to a medical just to make sure you haven't magically recovered. I was reading some notes from a neuro psychologist from 14 years ago and the day to day problems are pretty much the same now as they were then, unfortunately brain injures have this effect.

The DWP don't care what effect sending these forms to you has on your health. all that is important to them is getting another person off Incapacity benefit and down the jobcentre.

I would love to be how I was before the head injury and go to work properly but it is never going to happen. the government seem to think that disabled and sick people are all going to get jobs and we are all going to feel jolly and happy but I don't think they see the bigger picture

This is like the Arbeit Macht Frei effect. I am thinking quite negative after my experience at the working links office [still haven't heard from the DEA whether what Working Links told me is correct] and thinking what employer would want to take the risk with me with my conditions. I was talking to the lady helping me with the IB50 and it looks like I am a ticking bomb.

I have had some uncomfortable situations at my voluntary work previously and I have been to see one of the people who supports me and got a solution. When I had the part-time work in 1997 whenever I had a problem it was like it was always my fault because of my head injury and it was like always thrown back at me.

I have been worrying about getting the brown envelope for the last few months and now I have got one I have felt dreadful for over a week. I feel like I have had what energy I had drained out of me. I feel down but I don't feel depressed. It is difficult to feel positive at this moment in time with the IB50 hanging over my head. I was doing ok but now the brown envelope has come I am having a big anxiety problem more than usual, a letter come through the post about the tax credits and when I saw it I started feeling sick and then I was shaking later on. I am thinking about going to the GP and see if I can get anything done about it, It is a horrible feeling.